My God, My GodMy God
My God Why call me? I am flawed and broken, So helplessly imperfect. I can't do it! I can't try! If I say I'm not scared, It would be a lie. It's hard God. I'll be judged I'm anxious and nervous But I will try God Try to make you proud. 2014 What Eyes Will I Put On?Through my eyes I see,
Hateful people, Enough to fill a sea. Through God's eyes I see, Hurting people, That He wants to believe. Through my eyes I see, Aborted babies, With no chance to live. Through God's eyes I see, A heaven full of angels, With glory to give. Through my eyes I see, Abandonment filling empty hearts. Through God's eyes I see, A soul with just some broken parts. Through my eyes I see, Hopelessness and despair. Through God's eyes I see, It mended and repaired. Through my eyes I see, A shattered woman looking back at me. Through your eyes dear Lord, I see a soul, One that you care for and need. 2015 The Task At HandLet my words sprinkle, Your ears with peace, Because you loved, The least of these. My heart will be full, From this day forth, With the grace you have provided, Straight from the source. No longer will my heart, Be full of pain, You have promised to restore it, again and again. And if I should stumble, which I just might, you will teach me to stay strong, And put up a fight. I refuse to be silent, From this day on. Let your word be a lamp, To light me till dawn. 2015 Unfathomably LoveWhere does anger come from?
Why is it so deep? It makes my head hurt, It makes my soul weep. I want to scream, But no sound can I make. My spirit is tired, and My soul about to break. My ego is crushed, I think that's ok, That's what happens When I do it my way But The One up on high, Full of mercy and grace Lets His calming comfort Shine upon my face. My loving Savior, Will watch from above. Guiding me gently, Till I accept His love. 2015 The Voice In My HeadA soreness lingers in my inner soul,
Tearing me down so I am not whole. Why do I listen to this voice in my head? This voice that speaks. I now pronounce you, DEAD! I have been bought and paid with the highest of price. My Savior with love never even thought twice. I am covered by the blood of the Lamb Don't you dare try to tell me who I am! God has me destine for greater things. I will not wallow for my self esteem. I am not mine, I am God's alone. Now get behind me devil! You have been disowned! 2015 The Avoided OneYou nod your head, as I speak.
Yet your mannerisms are more of a dismissal than of understanding. I expected nothing from you, but selfishly was hoping for some encouragement. Your eyes scan the room looking for someone more important to talk to. Someone other than me. I pretend I need to be on my way so that you don't have to lie first. You are relieved I can tell. You quickly turn before I can mumble good bye. I am the avoided one. I am the one you all see, but none reach out. I don't match your perception of what a Christian looks like, so you disregard me. I came to find warmth and kindness, but none lives here. I am the avoided one. My hair doesn't always look the way it should, sometimes I smell of my last cigarette. it helps my nerves. You pretend you don't see me week after week. I want to be your friend. I want a friend. I need a friend. I am the avoided one. Will you reach out to me? Will you try? Or will you continue your ritual of greeting only those you know, week after week. While I sit here alone,. . .avoided. I pray that you never know the pain I have already experienced in my life. My story. How I met The Savior. How He rescued me. You might be surprised, you might not. I thought here would be different, but I realize we are all just people. We are sinful, full of mistakes, I don't hold it against you. This building we call a church is full of sinners. Messed up and confused, just looking to our Savior for help. The only one who can help us. So, though I may be avoided, I know where I stand, . . . .and with whom. 2015 I Will Call Out To YouMy bed is calling,
under the covers I must go. Where my sorrows meet my pillow, as my tears start to flow. This mole hill looks like a mountain, that I surely can not climb. The wind knocks me down, every time I try. I can't, I won't, I'm done with today. Not a glimmer of hope. No sunshine ray. And yet, I hear a voice, it calls to my inner being. Calming my soul, giving life meaning. "Stop trying to do this, all on your own. Did I not tell you, you need not roam." "I will fight for you, you need only be still. I know the right direction, just trust in my will." So I will let go, and trust in your spirit. I will call out to you, when I think I can't hear it. 2016 Goliath Is In Front Of MeGoliath is in front of me,
I am filled with dread. He hunts me day and night, Wanting me dead. I know that David, Used just one small stone. But I'm having a hard time, Standing on my own. Each time I stand, And puff out my chest. Another blow knocks me down, And I think I should rest. I don't mean to question, Your decisions or ways, But I am so tired Lord, More and more each day. Pick me up Jesus, Hold me please. Help me pick out the stone, To bring this giant to his knees. Goliath is in front of me, He wants me dead. Goliath is in front of me, He's in my head. 2016 Evening Prayersmy tear stained pillow holds the evidence of my prayers
like secrets told between two best friends heart aches made verbal to The One on High He hears my voice and feels my words Navigating my soul with gentleness and wisdom Sending me a breath that calms my soul unexplainable peace in the midst of chaos Father To The Fatherless"Daddy, Daddy come read to me."
"One more minute, Just let daddy be." She waits patiently, Surrounded by books. Why hasn't he come yet? Should she take another look? "Daddy you coming?" She tries again, She knows there will be no answer, Even before she begins. Her shoulders slump, As she shuts her door. She knew this would happen, She's been here before. She lays down her head, Silence abounds. "It's ok," she tells herself, He'll soon come around. She wakes early, Only to see, A empty mug of coffee, Where he used to be. She pushes the sadness out of her heart. She'll try yet again. She'll play a good part. She'll make him remember, The girl that he loved. She'll get all the kisses, And be smothered with hugs. Yet this never happens, Year after year. "I don't need him," she thinks. But she keeps shedding tears. Resentment begins to fill her, Bad choices are made. Trying to replace a Daddy, One that won't walk away. Then she hears of a father. Who died for his own. How can this be true? she realizes she is not alone? A father that knows each hair on her head. Who died for her sins. Yet now is not dead? It's confusing, To say the very least, Yet somewhere deep down, She finds the faith to believe. Her heart starts to feel joy As she bows down her head, "Jesus be my Daddy." No more need be said. 2015 |
Last WordsIf I died,
Before we healed. I want you to know, All resentment I yield. I gave it all, To Christ above. Let my words only come from, A heart out of love. Emotions can get, Messed up on the way. May anger not stop, The words needed to say. I am sorry we couldn't, Walk hand in hand. But each has his own path, His own worldly demands. Yet I know in heaven, These things do not matter. in our perfect heaven, We will have our playful banter. We will rejoice in the love, That has repaired our hearts. We will cling to the Lord's grace, Never to depart. We are different now, And that's ok. I pray from the Lord, You never will stray. Just wanted you to know, No anger lingers. I don't want regret, to wrap around your fingers. I did not die angry, At you or the world. Quite the opposite, I hope you understood. 2015 A Prayer For My ChildrenClose your eyes little one,
Rest your weary head. Lay down little one, All warm in your bed. I will sit here beside you, And listen to you breath. As I thank God above, For you I received. But you are not mine to own,. You are the Lord's, You just live in my home. God has His arms around you, Wrapped with undeserved grace. Listen to his guidance, Let Him shine on your face . Others might hate you Because of what you speak, Just raise your arms to the heavens, Refusing to be meek. 2015 Light My WayLet my words sprinkle,
Your ears with peace, Because you loved, The least of these. My heart will be full, From this day forth, With the grace you have provided, Straight from the source. No longer will my heart, Be full of pain, You have promised to restore it, again and again. And if I should stumble, which I just might, you will teach me to stay strong, And put up a fight. I refuse to be silent, From this day on. Let your word be a lamp, To light me till dawn. 2015 I Have Missed The MarkI have missed the mark yet again. I have pushed away when I should have pulled close. I have left when I should have stayed. I have been silent when I should have spoken up. I have hid when I needed to be seen. I have hurt instead of heal. I have held on when I needed to let go. I have missed the mark yet again. in my humanness I have failed. I have rejected love and held onto the hate. I have wept in the dark instead of look to the light. I have let despair cover me like a cold itchy blanket. I have become my own enemy. I choose now to forgive and not give up. I will not restrict my heart anymore, but let God fill my heart completely. I will act, and not react. 2015 He's In My DreamsThe voice inside me calms my nerves,
speaking softly as my vision blurs. Mine eyes land on a perfect sight so blinding all I see is white. Pure white light all around, a tear slips out but I make no sound. I hear your voice soft and sweet, lulling me to peaceful sleep. I know my Lord spoke, in a way only souls can hear. Drawing me closer, pulling me near. 2015 Speak TruthBlanket statements to cover our sins
Hiding our opinions deep within Pointing fingers back and forth Never really getting to the core Placing the blame on someone new Teaching our kids to do it too Responsibility's a thing of the past Entitlement here, now handles the task Are we standing only by our own merit Or holding Christs hand, ready to share it So many seeking answers while we have the key Unlock the truth, come and believe. Sing it, shout it, share it more Too many people left at heavens door 2015 Life, A Series Of ChoicesLife is not easy,
it is troubling and confusing at times. The choices we make in our reactions to events, create who we are. It is not merely the words we use to describe ourselves, that create this persona. We can take credit or give it. Be humble or boast. Forgive and forget, or harbor and plot. Move on ward and upward, or slip down the slippery slope of resentment. What choice will you make? What voice will you become? One of encouragement, or negativity. Finding faults, or looking for solutions? Will you blame, or resolve? Will you choose peace or resentment? If you looked at the choices you have made, What would you look like? Do your choices stay in line with who you say you are? Choices, choices, some big some small. All affecting us in one way or another. The programs we watch, the words we say. . . . Who are you? Who do you choose to be? 2015 A Christmas PoemIn line for Santa,
pictures to take. Trying desperately, for patience, not to break. "Why are we here?" "Who is that guy?" "I don't want to!" One starts to cry. These aren't the moments, The memories I crave. "Just stand still!" "Why can't you behave?!" "Stop hitting your brother." "Don't you pout!" "Can't you smile?" Is this really what it's all about? What are we teaching our mini me's? That the sparkle and tinsel, is why we believe? Do they know the true story? Or where our King came? In a dirty old barn. With no candy canes? That the reason we celebrate, is our dear Saviors birth. Not the size of a present, or how much it is worth. It's so easy this season, to forget to breath. I pray you see the blessings, He's given you and me. 2015 Forgiving YourselfMy heart hurts,
My soul sting, Where is the peace I need You to bring? My eyes stuck on the problem Right in front of me, It blurs my vision Its all I can see You won't force me To look upon Your face Just like you can't Make me accept grace Forgiveness is needed But that's only the start Forgiving myself Is the hardest part 2016 Wrap Me In Bubble WrapI'm gonna need your arms Lord to carry me through
Fix my broken pieces with a bit of your glue I'm trying Lord, I promise I am But I don't see my purpose in your divine plan How can I heal when the hurts keep on coming I can only crawl, and I know I should be running Feeling so tender could you please Wrap me in bubble wrap when I go to my knees 2019 How To Start My DayI am spent
I am done Exhausted for the day Trying hurts Eyes burn Nerves quite frayed Patience lost Perfection missed Frustration all surrounding Loosing calm Seeking peace Can feel heart pounding Memories fade Vision blurs Grace begins its healing Breathing in Bowing head Start each day by kneeling 2019 In His Presence
in the midst of divinity
captured by grace breathlessly waiting no description can capture no words describe mouth unable to speak but understanding lies deep within 2019 Keep FightingI hear the battle cries
my enemies charge ahead running full speed toward me causing me dread fear moves to the forefront hate trying to push in regret starts to lingers shame covers my skin ashamed that I forgot that I am not alone this battle that I'm fighting is not of flesh and bone your spirit is within me therefore I am a threat so I will keep on fighting till I am covered with their sweat |
Photos used under Creative Commons from classroomcamera, wuestenigel, wuestenigel, Tambako the Jaguar, homethods, yourbestdigs, Mysi(new stream: www.flickr.com/photos/mysianne), krossbow, Nick.Fisher, marcoverch, dejankrsmanovic, musefablab, Village9991, Art4TheGlryOfGod by Sharon, anokarina, chrisada