All poetry on this page is written by me,
                     Devonne Ramer. 

     Struggling Through

Sometimes I'm numb,
  and don’t feel a thing.
Other times full of nerves,
  and constantly sting.
You get me at these moments,
   big and or small. 
You feel what I feel,
  with no judgment at all.
You gift me with patience   
   when mine is wearing out,
   and help me find direction,
   when I'm floundering about.
Through the mistakes,
  and the mazes that I constantly run. 
You are there at the finish,
  before it's even done.
Thank you for your comfort in the days I feel small,
Please help me not forget,
  you are with me through it all.
                           2018

                                 Invisible No More

      I used to think I was invisible.
      Unable to be seen.
        Then I thought you were blind,  
   therefore couldn't see me.
  Maybe deaf?
​     I started shouting with my  actions.
       Hoping to get you to look my way,
      even for just a second.
     Something I could grasp onto, 
       a moment of recognition.
     But none came.
​     "Hello?!!! Can't you see me?"
    I would yell till I had no voice.
    The silence that followed cut my soul deep.
​   Then I decided I had had enough.
​  I did not owe you my happiness,
 I decided to turned my eyes away
I looked up with a tear stained face
      I called out in desperation. 
  "Abba Father! Help me!"
  "Can you heal this hurt?"
 "My heart can't handle this rejection." 
"It cuts too deep."    
Your words were soft but ever so clear. . .
   "Be still my child." 
  "Rest your weary head."
 "You are noticed."
"You are loved."
I am invisible no more.
​2018
​
​                          

My God,  My God

My God
My God
Why call me?
I am flawed and broken,
So helplessly imperfect.
I can't do it!
I can't try! 
If I say I'm not scared,
It would be a lie.
It's hard God.
I'll be judged
I'm anxious and nervous
But I will try God
Try to make you proud.
              2014

What Eyes Will I Put On? 

Through my eyes I see,
Hateful people,
Enough to fill a sea.
Through God's eyes I see,
Hurting people,
That He wants to believe.
Through my eyes I see,
Aborted babies, 
With no chance to live.
Through God's eyes I see,
A heaven full of angels, 
With glory to give.
Through my eyes I see,
Abandonment filling empty hearts.
Through God's  eyes I see,
A soul with just some broken parts.
Through my eyes I see,
Hopelessness and despair.
Through God's eyes I see,
It mended and repaired. 
Through my eyes I see,
A shattered woman looking back at me.
Through your eyes dear Lord,
I see a soul, 
One that you care for and need.
                 2015

The Task At Hand

 
Lord I want to please your Holy name
But all I can see is my shame
Uncover my eyes so I can see
What you say you have called me to be 
I look at the way the world measures their worth
By the clothes that they wear
Or the size of their girth
I have to admit that I've done the same 
I've beat myself up,
I've called myself names.
Seeing all my flaws 
Makes me shrink from your sight
You tell me I'm only human
It will all be alright
You say you can use
Even the least of these
Are you sure, Lord?
I ask on bended knees
No one seems to listen
Or care for my words
They say I'm self righteous, or 
I have some nerve
I want only to use your speech
Only your words,
To reach the weak
So give me the strength
I know I will need
To rise above
Stand firm and believe
             2015

Unfathomably Love 

Where does anger come from?
Why is it so deep?
It makes my head hurt,
It makes my soul weep.
I want to scream,  
But no sound can I make.
My spirit is tired, and  
My soul about to break.
My ego is crushed,
I think that's ok,
That's what happens
When I do it my way
But The One up on high,
Full of mercy and grace 
Lets His calming comfort
Shine upon my face. 
My loving Savior,
Will watch from above.
Guiding me gently,
Till I accept His love.
            2015

The Voice In My Head

A soreness lingers in my inner soul,
Tearing me down so I am not whole.
Why do I listen to this voice in my head?
This voice that speaks. 
I now pronounce you,     
DEAD!


I have been bought and paid
with the highest of  price.
My Savior with love
never even thought twice.

I am covered by the blood of the Lamb
Don't you dare try to tell me who I am!

God has me destine for greater things.
I will not wallow for my self esteem.

​I am not mine,
I am God's alone.
Now get behind me devil! 
You have been disowned!
        2015

The Avoided One

You nod your head, as I speak.
Yet your mannerisms are more of a dismissal than of understanding.
I expected nothing from you,
but selfishly was hoping for some
encouragement.
​Your eyes scan the room
​looking for someone more important to talk to.
Someone other than me.
​I pretend I need to be on my way so that you don't have to lie first.
​You are relieved I can tell.
You quickly turn before I can mumble good bye.
I am the avoided one.
I am the one you all see,
but none reach out.
I don't match your perception of what a Christian looks like,
so you disregard me.
I came to find warmth and kindness,
but none lives here. 
I am the avoided one.
​My hair doesn't always look the way it should,
sometimes I smell of my last cigarette.
​it helps my nerves.
​You pretend you don't see me week after week.
I want to be your friend.
I want a friend.
I need a friend.
I am the avoided one.
Will you reach out to me?
Will you try?
Or will you continue your ritual of greeting only those you know,
week after week.
While I sit here alone,. . .avoided.
​I pray that you never know the pain I have already experienced in my life.
My story. 
How I met The Savior.
How He rescued me.
​You might be surprised,
you might not.
​I thought here would be different,
but I realize we are all just people.
​We are sinful,
full of mistakes,
I don't hold it against you.
​This building we call a church is full of sinners.
​Messed up and confused,
just looking to our Savior for help.
The only one who can help us.
​So, though I may be avoided,
I know where I stand,
 . . . .and with whom.
​             2015


​

I Will Call Out To You

My bed is calling,
under the covers I must go.
Where my sorrows meet my pillow,
as my tears start to flow. 
This mole hill looks like a mountain,
​that I surely can not climb.
​The wind knocks me down,
every time I try.
​I can't, I won't,
I'm done with today.
​Not a glimmer of hope.
No sunshine ray.
And yet, I hear a voice, 
it calls to my inner being. 
Calming my soul,
giving life meaning. 
"Stop trying to do this, 
all on your own.
Did I not tell you, 
you need not roam."
​"I will fight for you,
you need only be still.
​I know the right direction, 
just trust in my will."
So I will let go, 
and trust in your spirit.
I will call out to you, 
when I think I can't hear it.
        2016

Goliath Is In Front Of Me 

Goliath is in front of me,
I am filled with dread.
He hunts me day and night,
Wanting me dead.

I know that David,
Used just one small stone.
​But I'm having a hard time,
Standing on my own.

Each time I stand, 
And puff out my chest.
Another blow knocks me down,
And I think I should rest.

I don't mean to question,
Your decisions or ways,
But I am so tired Lord,
More and more each day.

Pick me up Jesus,
Hold me please.
Help me pick out the stone,
To bring this giant to his knees.

Goliath is in front of me,
He wants me dead.
Goliath is in front of me,
He's in my head.
​2016
​

Evening Prayers

my tear stained pillow holds the evidence of my prayers 
   like secrets told between two best friends 
    heart aches made verbal to The One on High
   He hears my voice and feels my words
Navigating my soul with gentleness and wisdom
Sending me a breath that calms my soul
​unexplainable peace in the midst of chaos

Father To The Fatherless

"Daddy, Daddy come read to me."
"One more minute,
 Just let daddy be."
She waits patiently,
Surrounded by books.
Why hasn't he come yet?
Should she take another look?
"Daddy you coming?"
She tries again, 
She knows there will be no answer,
Even before she begins.
Her shoulders slump,
As she shuts her door.
She knew this would happen,
She's been here before.
She lays down her head,
Silence abounds.
"It's ok," she tells herself,
He'll soon come around.
She wakes early,
Only to see, 
A empty mug of coffee, 
Where he used to be.
She pushes the sadness out of her heart.
She'll try yet again.
She'll play a good part.
She'll make him remember,
The girl that he loved.
She'll get all the kisses,
And be smothered with hugs.
Yet this never happens,
Year after year.
"I don't need him," she thinks.
But she keeps shedding tears.
Resentment  begins to fill her,
Bad choices are made.
Trying to replace a Daddy,
One that won't walk away.
Then she hears of a father.
Who died for his own.
How can this be true?
she realizes she is not alone?
A father that knows each hair on her head.
Who died for her sins.
Yet now is not dead?
It's confusing, 
To say the very least, 
Yet somewhere deep down, 
She finds the faith to believe.
Her heart starts to feel joy
As she bows down her head,
"Jesus be my Daddy."
No more need be said.
​    2015

                           Last Words

If I died, 
Before we healed.
I want you to know, 
All resentment I yield.
I gave it all,
To Christ above.
Let my words only come from, 
A heart out of love.
Emotions can get,
Messed up on the way.
May anger not stop,
The words needed to say.
I am sorry we couldn't,
Walk hand in hand.
But each has his own path,
His own worldly demands.
Yet I know in heaven,
These things do not matter.
in our perfect heaven,
We will have our playful banter.
We will rejoice in the love,
That has repaired our hearts.
We will cling to the Lord's grace,  
Never to depart.
We are different now,
And that's ok.
I pray from the Lord,
You never will stray.
Just wanted you to know,
No anger lingers.
I don't want regret,
to wrap around your fingers.
I did not die angry,
At you or the world.
Quite the opposite,
I hope you understood.
​            2015

A Prayer For My Children

Close your eyes little one,
Rest your weary head.
Lay down little one,
All warm in your bed.
I will sit here beside you,
And listen to you breath.
As I thank God above,
For you I received. 
But you are not mine to own,.
You are the Lord's,
You just live in my home.
God has His arms around you,
Wrapped with undeserved grace.
Listen to his guidance,
Let Him shine on your face .
Others might hate you
Because of what you speak,
Just raise your arms to the heavens,
Refusing to be meek.
​               2015

                             Light My Way

Let my words sprinkle,
Your ears with peace, 
Because you loved, 
The least of these.

My heart will be full, 
From this day forth, 
With the grace you have provided, 
Straight from the source.

No longer will my heart,
Be full of pain, 
You have promised to restore it,
again and again.

And if I should stumble, 
which I just might,
you will teach me to stay strong,
And put up a fight.

I refuse to be silent,
From this day on.
Let your word be a lamp,
To light me till dawn.
               2015 

I Have Missed The Mark

I have missed the mark yet again.
I have pushed away when I should have pulled close.
I have left when I should have stayed.
I have been silent when I should have spoken up.
I have hid when I needed to be seen.
I have hurt instead of heal.
I have held on when I needed to let go.
I have missed the mark yet again.
in my humanness I have failed.
I have rejected love and held onto the hate.
I have wept in the dark instead of look to the light.
I have let despair cover me like a cold itchy blanket.
I have become my own enemy.
I choose now to forgive and not give up.
I will not restrict my heart anymore,
​but let God fill my heart completely. 
I will act, and not react.
                 2015

He's In My Dreams

​The voice inside me calms my nerves,
speaking softly as my vision blurs.
Mine eyes land on a perfect sight
so blinding all I see is white.
Pure white light all around,
a tear slips out but I make no sound.
I hear your voice soft and sweet,
lulling me to peaceful sleep.
I know my Lord spoke,
in a way only souls can hear.
Drawing me closer,
pulling me near.
             2015

Speak Truth

Blanket statements to cover our sins
Hiding our opinions deep within
Pointing fingers back and forth
Never really getting to the core
Placing the blame on someone new
Teaching our kids to do it too
Responsibility's a thing of the past
Entitlement here, now handles the task
Are we standing only by our own merit
Or holding Christs hand, ready to share it 
So many seeking answers while we have the key
Unlock the truth, come and believe.
Sing it, shout it, share it more
Too many people left at heavens door
                                      2015​

Life, A Series Of Choices

Life is not easy,
it is troubling and confusing at times.
The choices we make in our reactions to events, create who we are.
​It is not merely the words we use to describe ourselves, that create this persona.
We can take credit or give it.
Be humble or boast.
Forgive and forget,
or harbor and plot.
Move on ward and upward,
or slip down the slippery slope of resentment.
What choice will you make?
What voice will you become?
One of encouragement,
or negativity.
​Finding faults, or looking for solutions?
Will you blame, or resolve?
Will you choose peace or resentment?
If you looked at the choices you have made,
What would you look like?
​Do your choices stay in line with who you say you are?
Choices, choices, some big some small.
​All affecting us in one way or another.
​The programs we watch, the words we say. . . .
Who are you?
Who do you choose to be?
​                2015

A Christmas Poem

In line for Santa, 
pictures to take. 
​Trying desperately, 
for patience, not to break.

"Why are we here?"
"Who is that guy?"
​"I don't want to!"
One starts to cry.

These aren't the moments,
The memories I crave.
"Just stand still!"
​"Why can't you behave?!"

"Stop hitting your brother."
"Don't you pout!"
"Can't you smile?"
Is this really what it's all about?

What are we teaching 
our mini me's?
​That the sparkle and tinsel, 
is why we believe?

Do they know the true story?
Or where our King came?
In a dirty old barn. 
With no candy canes?

That the reason we celebrate, 
is our dear Saviors birth.
Not the size of a present,
or how much it is worth.

It's so easy this season,
to forget to breath.
I pray you see the blessings,
​He's given you and me. 
​             2015

Forgiving Yourself

My heart hurts,
My soul sting,
Where is the peace
I need  You to bring?

My eyes stuck on the problem
Right in front of me,
It blurs my vision
Its all I can see

​You won't force me
To look upon Your face
​Just like you can't  
Make me accept grace

Forgiveness is needed
But that's only the start
Forgiving myself 
​Is the hardest part
     2016

Wrap Me In Bubble Wrap

I'm gonna need your arms Lord to carry me through
Fix my broken pieces with a bit of your glue 
I'm trying Lord, I promise I am
But I don't see my purpose in your divine plan
How can I heal when the hurts keep on coming
I can only crawl, and I know I should be running
​Feeling so tender could you please
Wrap me in bubble wrap when I go to my knees 
​                        2019

How To Start My Day

I am spent
I am done
Exhausted for the day
Trying hurts
Eyes burn
Nerves quite frayed
Patience lost
Perfection missed
Frustration all surrounding 
Loosing calm
Seeking peace
Can feel heart pounding
Memories fade 
Vision blurs 
Grace begins its healing
Breathing in  
Bowing head 
Start each day by kneeling
        2019

In His Presence

in the midst of divinity
captured by grace
breathlessly waiting
no description can capture
no words describe 
mouth unable to speak
but understanding lies deep within
     2019

Keep Fighting

I hear the  battle cries
my enemies charge ahead
running full speed toward me
causing me dread
fear moves to the forefront 
hate trying to push in
regret starts to lingers
shame covers my skin
ashamed that I forgot
​that I am not alone 
this battle that I'm fighting
is not of flesh and bone
your spirit is within me
therefore I am a threat
so I will keep on fighting
​till I am covered with their sweat


​