Blog Posts

You Don't Have To Like Me, It's OK

3/12/2019

   It has taken me years, (38 to be exact), to be comfortable in my own skin. Comfortable to know that not everybody is gonna like me. And guess what, that's ok.
   For me personally I think I came out of the womb needing human approval. Always wanting people to like me. If they didn't, well I would just have to work overtime to show them how great I was. That may mean, swallowing my words, changing my personality, taking abuse, all of this done to feel that I was likable. It all seems exhausting now. The worry, stress, and wasted time I spent pretending to be someone else to get approval.
   Why am I writing about this today? For beginners I think we have this misconception that if someone doesn't like us, there is something wrong with us. Other times we think there's a flaw in them if they can't see how amazing we are. I thought that for quite some time too, after I got over the people pleasing. I no longer believe that. I never stopped to think that maybe I'm not suppose to be in that persons life.
     We as humans are an intense mixture of personalities and emotions. All so unique and different. Why is someone in the wrong if they don't like us? Personalities clash, and that's ok. What isn't ok, is bashing someone else's personality that's doesn't meet your criteria.
   How do we get over this hump? How do we stop letting people opinions about us affect us? How do we stop wasting time people pleasing?
When we truly understand what God says about us, and believe it, it's easy. The first step is getting into His word. When you take the focus off what people think, and put your stock in what God believes its simple. I implore you to open your bible. Read. Become confident in who Christ created you to be. Remember it is nice to be liked, but if someone doesn't, that's ok. Here's are a few verses to get you started, . . . .
   Proverbs 20:24 "A persons steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way?" We can't possibly understand anyone's path in life, and we may not know why we don't mesh, but we know the creator knows, and that is all that should matter.
   John 2:25 "He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person." Boom! mic drop. He knows it all. Everything.
   Proverbs 21:2 "A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart." Stop being judge and jury. Take it to God and leave it at the thrown. Let the Almighty in His infinite wisdom handle it.
   Psalm 56:11 "in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?"

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My Love/ Hate Relationship With Facebook

3/12/2019

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   I struggle with my relationship with Facebook. While I love the social aspect and catching up with old friends. I hate the narcissistic attitude it encourages. The obsessiveness it cultivates.
     Facebook helps us stroke our egos. People all around can "like" or even "love" our pictures and comments. The worrisome part is when we let that make us feel more relevant. More important. More "liked".
   Why do I think this is dangerous? Well, a few reasons. One is we are susceptible to thinking we have "relationships" with people that "like" our photos. Commenting back and forth, sharing memes, and yet if you saw them in person would you say hello? The danger is letting a device become the friendship, not true human interaction.
I am not saying Facebook is bad. I just worry that putting this device in between us might be killing some of our relationships slowly. Facebook is not a relationship. It should not replace true human interaction. Coffee dates, phone calls, ect.. And it most certainly should not be our source of confidence.
   Obviously I use Facebook, and will continue. I just want to encourage you to reach out. Not through a screen, but in real "human" life. Laugh, in person, with a friend. Next time you go to text, call. Make an effort. Step outside of your box. And whatever you do, look to God for your confidence, not social media.

Psalm 40:4 "Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods."

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Embracing Encouragement

3/11/2019

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Who doesn't like a bit of encouragement? Somedays we might need a little more than others, but we all need it. We all want someone to notice our hard work. When days start to drag on, and someone notices how great we are doing our spirits instantly get lifted.
As Christians we are called to encourage one another. Do you make long winded speeches, or do your words bring comfort and relief? Let us love one another. Let our words uplift spirits. Let us start encouraging one another today.

Hebrews 13:1 "Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters."

1 Peter 3:8 "Finally, all of you, be like- minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble."

Encouragement : something that makes someone more determined, hopeful, or confident.

Blessings Friends, Devonne Ramer

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Strengthening Our Faith

3/4/2019

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Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Seems simple enough, so why is it so hard sometimes?

Ever felt like your faith tank is running a little low? Your not alone. I sometimes feel the same way. At times my faith is so strong, (usually when everything is going my way). Then when things starts to tear, just a little at the seams I start to waver. Having faith requires a lot of strength. 1 Corinthians 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong." It's not a coincidence that strong and courageous are right behind the word faith in that verse. To have confidence that Christ has the uncontrollable under control, is really hard. Something I haven't quite mastered.
   In Mark 4:40 Christ is talking to His disciples about this very thing: "He said to his disciples, "why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" I take comfort in reading this verse. It helps comfort me when
I start loosing patience with my self. Even the disciples faltered with their faith. They even got to see all those miracles up close and personal. How could they falter? But in the end, weren't they just human too?
   When Christ said this to them, He may have been a little frustrated, but I also believe he was truly confused. Like: ok guys seriously? How much more do I need to prove? I don't see God angry when we don't have the faith we need. In His loving wisdom He usually uses these moments of weakness as His opportunity to show us His strength. When were times that your faith was strengthened?
My favorite faith story in the bible is when Peter walked on water towards Jesus. If you haven't read this story I encourage you to do so in it's entirety. (Mathew 14:22-35) I will summarize it for you.
      All the disciples are in a boat far from land (Mathew 14:24). They look out and see someone walking on water. Needless to say they freak out. (Mathew 14:26) "When the disciples saw him walking on the lake they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear." Jesus called out and told them not to be afraid it was him. "Lord, if it's you,' Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come" he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. (verses 28-29) So Peter is walking on water! Can you imagine? Amazing right! If you were put in that position would you even get out of the boat to try? (To be honest I don't know if I would). Ok where was I? Oh yeah, ok so Peter is walking on water. He starts to comprehend his circumstances realizing he is doing the impossible. Humans can't walk on water, and yet he's doing it? So he does what any of us would do. He gets scared. The minute he listens to his fear he starts to sink. How scary. He is in the middle of the ocean at night, and now he's sinking. Here comes my favorite part . . . . "he was afraid and, beginning to sink cried out, "Lord, save me!" immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" (verses 29-31)
Peters action is not unusual, and God hasn't changed His reaction. Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." We get scared. We doubt. Start to sink, and He reaches out for us every time. I believe Peters faith was strengthened in that moment just like ours is when we cry out. Jesus didn't say I'm going teach you a lesson Peter, and let him flounder for a bit. He didn't roll his eyes and tell Peter to stop being so dramatic. Nope, right away reaches out his hand and helps him.
   If you remember one thing from this story, let it be the fact that you can call on the Lord at any time and under any circumstance. He will "immediately" reach out his hand to help you.

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Are We Deleting Grace?

3/1/2019

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   Reading the story of Job, we are given the perfect example of bad things happening to a good person. I feel so sorry for the guy. How can you not? He really had no idea what was going on. On top of all of the loss and pain surrounding him, his friends were basically lecturing him. Telling him he must have sinned somewhere for all of this to fall upon him. When he denies this, they don't back down. They keep telling him he is being punished and he needs to own up to his faults.
   Thinking that something happening to another, is a result of some indiscretion they have committed is a dangerous thought process. Two reasons why. One you have eliminate the grace factor and two, it can lead us to judgement.
   Here's the thing about bad things, they happen to all of us at one time or another. When we think it's God's punishment being doled out to someone, right there we delete the grace factor. Grace: the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. God isn't counting up all the ways you have sinned to pay you back later. If that were true we would never have a good day.
We need to use caution when we shoot judgment someone's direction based on their circumstances. In Mathew 7:2 NIV it says "For the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Another dangerous belief is that bad things won't happen to us because we are believers. Seriously?! Have we forgotten that we live in a sinful world. Why should we not suffer? What makes us any better than the rest? Because we accepted a gift that was given freely to all? So, when bad things happen, which they will, I pray we remember that we have hope and strength in knowing The One who created this world will help us through it. Remember no one will leave this world unscathed in one way or another.
   Those who are in the middle of this battle, I am praying for you.

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Why Hate?

2/28/2019

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   I have witnessed hate first hand. I have had it thrown my direction. I have seen it break a heart in front of me. I believe hate is as poisonous as black mold. It also grows quickly. Soon taking over everything in its path. It is one of the worst silent killers out there. It hurts the carrier as well as the victim. It absorbs its carriers like a soul invader. It can cause someone to feel a false sense of power, and control.
     One of the myths we believe is that we can direct it toward someone and be unaffected ourselves. Do not be fooled. Hatred is a liar. You have no control over it. When you posses it in your heart, it becomes the one in the drivers seat, not you. You can not see things clearly. You may think you are the one calling the shots, but hate deceives.
For those of you who are holding onto this poison, what does it do for you? Why are you holding onto this? What good has come from it? What would happen if you let it go? 1 John 4:20 NIV "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. ."
Being a victim of hate is so very hard. I personally know friends dealing with this right now. It makes my heart break. I am reminded to cling to this verse. John 15:18 "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first."
      To the victims of hatred, my prayers are with you .You are worth more than gold in your Saviors eyes. Romans 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with he glory that will be revealed in us."
   Blessings and prayers friends, Devonne Ramer

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He Just Wants You

2/26/2019

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I absolutely love birthdays. I love celebrating them. Especially for my kids. I feel it is the one time of year, that it is socially acceptable to spoil your child. When my oldest was about to turn ten, I almost forgot his birthday.
   It was 7 days till his birthday when I realized I hadn't planned a thing! Not only had I forgotten this major event, but we were leaving for vacation next week. This coming weekend was the only time to do something, and I had missed this small window of opportunity.
Pretty embarrassing calling the bowling alley, (where he wanted his party), and asking if they had a spot available on Saturday, (which was only 5 days from now). Obviously it wasn't happening.
   I felt so upset with myself. How had I let this important day fall through the cracks? What did that say about me as a mom?
   I talked with my son, told him we would have the bowling party after vacation. He was fine with that, but I wasn't. My heart hurt, I felt I had let him down, and it made me feel as if I was failing at being his mom.
   Then I remembered his birthday a few years back. Money was really tight. I mean, cry yourself to sleep tight. I had had the same feeling of failure as I wrapped a couple little gifts in-between tears. When the next morning came, I remember being shocked when he was so thrilled with his presents. He kept saying thank you over and over all night. I remember feeling so silly for worrying, and grateful to God for blessing me with a child who was thankful for even the smallest of items.
This reminds me of how God can use us. He doesn't need us all preaching on street corners, or wearing brightly colored t-shirts that say I love Jesus. He just wants us. He wants to hold us, comfort us, and use us. Even when we think we have nothing to offer, he can use us. Don't let the pressure of what gifts you think a Christian has to have hold you back. Just give him yourself, and be blessed.

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What Is Your Silence Saying?

2/25/2019

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Silence speaks volumes. Not saying something can be just as effective as being verbal. Many times we stay silent because we are ashamed to speak up. Maybe you have a fear of judgement so it has stopped you from voicing your thoughts. Other times we use silence to show our disproval in something or someone. What is your silence saying?
   Maybe your like me. Maybe you are realizing now is not the time to stay silent. Are you being called to speak up? Has God laid something on your heart you need to deal with?
A few years ago I realized I was being too silent. I wasn't standing up for what I believe in verbally. Since then, those who know me know that I will no longer stay silent on my devotion to Christ. I will walk away from people or things that do not honor the Lord. This one is hard. It doesn't mean I can't have a friend that is a nonbeliever, but what activities am I doing with them? Am I bringing them up, or are they bringing me down? Who's values are rubbing off on who?
   Some may think I'm a goody goody/Jesus freak/or "too Christian". That's ok. I'm not here to earn mans approval anymore. I no longer need it. My sole purpose in life is to serve Jesus Christ, with my voice, heart, mind, soul.
   Here are my truths, and ones I can not be silent on anymore. I believe the Bible is the true word of God. I am not going to argue it with you. I will not tolerate anyone making fun of my beliefs, or belittling them. I will speak up. I believe in forgiveness. I also believe we can be forgiven while still having consequences from our actions. I believe my life has a purpose, as does yours. We were designed by a perfectly flawless God, He doesn't make mistakes.
Lastly, I believe we need to speak up. How is the world to know of His forgiveness and grace if we keep our to ourselves?

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God Adjustments

2/23/2019

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    Adjust: To change (something) in a minor way so that it works better. To change in order to work or do better in a new situation.
Making adjustments in our lives are mandatory for our growth spiritually. Some are quite simple while others take a lot more self control, or motivation on our part. Adjustments are important and they are necessary.
   Why? Why must we adjust? Because things change. The one thing that is certain is change itself. The way we handle change is our choice. We can choose to be bitter, angry, and frustrated, or find new ways to "adjust" our attitude, or behaviors. The one thing we must not do, is give up.
I have had to make many adjustments in my life. I am not going to tell you that I have run to each new challenge with praise in my heart, and smile on my face. Nope, many adjustments were made with me dragging my feet, and pouting all the way. And quite frankly, many times I've wanted to give up.
I will tell you right now, that not one "God" adjustment that I've made has been a mistake.
   A God adjustment is my term I use. It is when God has laid something on my heart to change. Sometimes it is my attitude about a situation or person. Other times it is my behavior that needs an adjustment.
Here is the tricky part about change. You can't do it for others. God has a plan for everyone's life, and it's great when they coincide. But the harsh truth is, that a lot of times they won't. We are all unique individuals, and we all have free will. This does not mean stop praying. Remember we have a God that performs miracles. He loves you like no other, so if he's leading you to an adjustment, there is a reason.
   If this was meant for you today, I pray you take that first step. It might be scary, and uncomfortable, but please don't forget who is holding your hand the whole way.

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Calling All Supermoms

2/22/2019

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   We moms tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves. And not just in one area of our lives. No longer are we trying to just be a good mother. Now we are pressuring ourselves to attain a Pinterest worthy life. Trying to be a perfect mother, Christian, wife, sister, daughter, and homemaker. We are killing ourselves trying to reach this unattainable goal of perfection. It's simply not good enough to do our best, instead we feel we must push until we are exceeding all levels of greatness. Pushing boundaries of our humanness to reach perfection. We then wonder why we are exhausted, and left
unfulfilled inside.
Why do we do this? God didn't ask us this of us.
   Here is what we need to remember: "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)
   We weren't called to be superwomen. We were called to be faithful. Lets hang up the cape. We can't do this alone. Let's focus on being faithful to God.
   "For the law made nothing perfect, and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God." (Hebrews 7:19 NIV)
We have a mighty powerful God that we put too many limits on.
Heavenly Father, Help us unload this heavy burden we carry.    Amen.

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