I'm Gonna Keep Coloring!!!

I could curse you,
hate you,
scream and shout at you
all the pain you have caused
still cause 
the empty space you left in my heart
a hole so deep no band aide could ever cover it completely 
and you know what
no one would fault me
you have earned it
they would back me up
they might even yell with me 
but,
I DESERVE better
I WANT better
for me
for my sons
I choose to heal
look forward
and "feel" again
"feels" don't always "feel" good
but feeling is healing
I have a Father in heaven who is helping me
He is healing up the hole you left
He's got me 
helping to unnumb this heart
my heart
my heart MATTERS
turns out feeling is better than being numb
God is using this broken crayon
and I'm gonna color all over the place!!!!
you can watch from a distance when you so choose 
maybe in time we will color together
when I feel the anger
the pain
I will choose to remember you are a broken crayon too
you just don't know it yet
when you have your moment 
and I pray you do 
I pray you look to The One who created you 
instead of the mirror
until then I'll be over here 
coloring the world!!!!


        Devonne Ramer 2019
This is dedicated to all my lovely broken crayons.
Gods got this.
Healing is hard, but so worth it.
Your story isn't over. 
Love you all my friends.