So many words running through my head. How do I convey the right message, so it is not my words that you read, but hear Gods. Because you know what, . . . I cant. I just cant.
I cant rewrite history, I cant make you hear God, I cant make you listen, I cant make you read this. I just cant!
Let me tell you about a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend who tried. You see, she tried. She really, really tried. She tried to give time to her husband, and really listen. She tried to give 100% to her kids. Whether that meant checking over math homework for the evening, or listening to yet another fortnight/mindcraft story with feigned enthusiasm. She tried to be a good daughter, checking in on her parents. Weekly phone calls, (sometimes in the midst of laundry piles). She tried to reach out to her siblings, catching up on their life's journey. Making sure they knew they were loved, and prayed for. And she tried to be the friend who would drop everything at a moments notice to be there.
And while she was taking on more projects than she had hands for, she had never felt more out of control. She would lay in bed at night, and wonder how did the day go by so quickly?
Now, you might think ok, so what's the problem? That's motherhood, and adulthood, right. You see, the problem wasn't that she was doing these things, it was that she was doing them alone.
It took one panic attack, and a mountain of tears for her to realize, (and then say out loud), "I can't". But there is one more word to that statement, and its the one that matters the most.
"I cant,. . . . ALONE."
I'm pretty sure its obvious that that girl was me.
I knew I had a savior who loved me, but I think deep down I was still trying to earn that "perfect" title. Earning the grace that God had already given me. Comical to think about it now. I'm sure my loving Savior was just wondering when I would run out of steam, and look up at Him instead of myself.
So what changed? How did I learn to "let go, and let God" so to say? Well, for starters, I dug into the word of God. I stopped finding excuses why I was too busy, or too tired to read. I dug deep. I kept reading. I didn't have to understand every story, or situation that arose out of it. I had to bury in deep in my heart.
Secondly, I stopped looking at my weaknesses as weaknesses. Realizing, that God knew those things about me already, and still loves me. I read something recently that gave me an "aha" moment.
"An intolerance of your weaknesses will make it hard to be content with the real you."
"Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. The impossibility of our perfection is the very reason Jesus died. The belief that God is more interested in our perfection that a relationship with Him is the birthplace of insecurity."
Take a moment to read that again. Let it sink in. Jesus died because we aren't perfect. He never expected it for us, why do we? Do we think we know more than God?
I would encourage you today, to say "I can't". Surrender. "I cant, . . . alone", and neither can you.
My pray, as always is for you dear reader. You, tired mama. Is that you find the joy of letting go, and looking up.
Much love as always,
Devonne Ramer
I cant rewrite history, I cant make you hear God, I cant make you listen, I cant make you read this. I just cant!
Let me tell you about a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend who tried. You see, she tried. She really, really tried. She tried to give time to her husband, and really listen. She tried to give 100% to her kids. Whether that meant checking over math homework for the evening, or listening to yet another fortnight/mindcraft story with feigned enthusiasm. She tried to be a good daughter, checking in on her parents. Weekly phone calls, (sometimes in the midst of laundry piles). She tried to reach out to her siblings, catching up on their life's journey. Making sure they knew they were loved, and prayed for. And she tried to be the friend who would drop everything at a moments notice to be there.
And while she was taking on more projects than she had hands for, she had never felt more out of control. She would lay in bed at night, and wonder how did the day go by so quickly?
Now, you might think ok, so what's the problem? That's motherhood, and adulthood, right. You see, the problem wasn't that she was doing these things, it was that she was doing them alone.
It took one panic attack, and a mountain of tears for her to realize, (and then say out loud), "I can't". But there is one more word to that statement, and its the one that matters the most.
"I cant,. . . . ALONE."
I'm pretty sure its obvious that that girl was me.
I knew I had a savior who loved me, but I think deep down I was still trying to earn that "perfect" title. Earning the grace that God had already given me. Comical to think about it now. I'm sure my loving Savior was just wondering when I would run out of steam, and look up at Him instead of myself.
So what changed? How did I learn to "let go, and let God" so to say? Well, for starters, I dug into the word of God. I stopped finding excuses why I was too busy, or too tired to read. I dug deep. I kept reading. I didn't have to understand every story, or situation that arose out of it. I had to bury in deep in my heart.
Secondly, I stopped looking at my weaknesses as weaknesses. Realizing, that God knew those things about me already, and still loves me. I read something recently that gave me an "aha" moment.
"An intolerance of your weaknesses will make it hard to be content with the real you."
"Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. The impossibility of our perfection is the very reason Jesus died. The belief that God is more interested in our perfection that a relationship with Him is the birthplace of insecurity."
Take a moment to read that again. Let it sink in. Jesus died because we aren't perfect. He never expected it for us, why do we? Do we think we know more than God?
I would encourage you today, to say "I can't". Surrender. "I cant, . . . alone", and neither can you.
My pray, as always is for you dear reader. You, tired mama. Is that you find the joy of letting go, and looking up.
Much love as always,
Devonne Ramer
